How far along? 30 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Up 16 pounds.
Maternity clothes? I'm kind of running out of things that fit. Plus it's getting cold (for Georgia, anyway) , and I just can't justify buying a maternity coat to wear for like ten weeks, so I've been living in Noah's hoodies. Yeah, I look like a bum.
Stretch marks? No new ones, hallelujah glory be.
Sleep: It'd be a lot better if Jim would sleep past 5:30 in the morning, but my bladder has actually been treating me better lately, so I'm relatively happy.
Best moment this week: Nothing in particular, but watching Jim play in the leaves has been pretty good.
Movement: She's about 50 times more violent than Jim was. I hope this doesn't mean anything for when she comes out.
Food cravings: MEAT. I could could up a couple pounds of ground beef and just eat it plain.
Gender: Weiblich.
Labor Signs: Nej.
Belly Button in or out? In, but getting weird.
What I miss: My back not hurting. Owww.
What I am looking forward to: Having an outside baby and not looking like an elephant seal.
Milestones: 75% done! Ten weeks to go sounds craaaaaaazy.
30 weeks with Jim, just for reference.
I'm noticing that I've been worried about completely different things this time than when I was pregnant with Jim. I'm much much much less worried about actually having a teensy baby. Last time I was really concerned that I was going to break Jim or something, but it turned out that newborns aren't nearly as fragile and complicated as I expected. Taking care of them isn't easy, but it's pretty simple. Food, diaper, sleep, repeat every hour around the clock. I wouldn't say I'm looking forward to complete exhaustion and nightmarish sleep deprivation, but I'm not afraid of it. I know I can survive the first couple months, after which I can go back to a luxurious six hours a night.
What's really scary is the actual having-the-baby part. Last time I didn't think it could possibly be that bad. I thought it would be a big mind-over-matter thing, 'the only thing to fear is fear itself,' etc. But in reality? As it turned out, labor really freaking hurts. And sometimes it ends with a really traumatic c-section. So I'm a little terrified. I'd like to do a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) if possible, and I know the odds are in my favor (about 70% success rate with VBACs at this hospital) and that needing a c-section for a transverse baby last time was just a fluke, but I'm a total wuss, so I am dreading it. I hope I actually get to push this time, though. That'd be nice. I'm mostly just afraid of going through six millions hours of painful labor just to have another c-section.
And yeah, I know I know, healthy baby is all that matters. But can you really blame me for not wanting to get cut open again?
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2 comments:
Been through both myself. Don't know what way was best, hope it goes the way you want. Hugs.
Your Ma had 3 breech births, with cords wrapped around necks, and had them vaginally...Nowadays they probably would've done c-sections...It CAN happen twice in a row...Be prepared, young lady! I love you!
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